Sitting here reading up on homeschool planning guides. I know there are people out there not in support of me doing this with my daughter, but I am excited and happy to be able to do this for/with her. There are many reasons I am choosing this and I'm not jumping in blind. I've been learning about it and the pros and cons for 5 months. Two different conversations today had two completely different
attitudes towards this decision. I just want to say thank you to my sister Sara for encouraging me and for acknowledging that it's a decision for my husband and I to make and if there's an attitude that is not encouraging or not supportive of our decision, then that doesn't help me to be the best I can be for my daughter. If you knew me or what I have done for my daughter for her to be where she is now, then you really don't know how much of what she has achieved is because of what we have ALREADY done in our home; and aside from dad and Chris, it has been mostly by ME. I'M NOT STARTING HOMESCHOOL...I HAVE BEEN DOING IT HER ENTIRE LIFE. I think that if a person has qualms about homeschooling, they should take a look at the curriculum itself, see that issues of socialization and peer communications have been addressed and that she will still be in a community of her peers AND still be a part of the Elementary she would have been attending otherwise. I am following a curriculum based homeschool program, not a religious one or a self-advised program. I am doing a program which parallels her peers. Yes, I know I have a wild sense of humor. So what if I ask questions about parenting...I'm always wanting to know what to expect next from other people's experiences with kids...that's the only way to learn and be better. Yes, I am a free-spirit, G-d forgive me if I don't see things cookie cutter...but a sound education and time with my daughter? I owe it to her. Sometimes people just see that happy girl that doesn't seem to have a care in the world, a flippant conversationalist who just seems to be on a "different page". I seriously doubt that anyone who has cast doubt in me could last one week in the life I live. To be able to do what I do...and still make my children my priority, I'm quite proud. I am raising two beautiful and curious kids. Socially? Trust me, they have more of a social life than most adults. They are a part of a community that loves them, not just by family...but truly supportive friends that have stood by me and been there since the beginning of both of their lives. Rheagan won't just have me for a teacher, she will have all of those wonderful women that I share my life with to learn from and share with, and get hugs and encouragement from. I'm excited. I truly am lucky that my husband provides me with the chance and opportunity to do this for her. I get to have my baby for one more year. She's growing so fast, 2nd grade...to 3rd, and middle school. I get one more year of her innocence and my eyes and heart to guide her...and all the support I need from her K12 program and local teachers and peers. All that I have left to prepare for??? Is learning how to tell people to just mind their own business and save their negative attitude and doubts for the door, because unless you support me, all you have are your words and talk talk about what's best for my child. They will not be the ones to dedicate themselves to her, it will be me. And if I have failed her yet? I would love to find someone to show me where and how. I'm not upset at the naysayers...I'm just saying it's 2 in the morning and I am learning, and discovering...and getting excited for what tomorrow brings. The program itself and following it correctly, that will be the discipline. What I get to provide? Are my morals and my beliefs...and the sight of seeing exactly what my daughter is learning and where her understanding is day to day. If you knew what my daughter went through losing Dad, you would understand that right now, all I care about is her. I care about knowing where and how well her healing has taken her. I care about letting her express her emotions and feelings and not having the pressure of doing it publicly...and not having the opportunity to have full focus on her just because of what other people thought? Well, that would just be shameful. Sorry for the long post. I don't feel like those that have doubted have ever asked me for the true reasoning for my decision...and I haven't even touched on them all here, but at least I got to get some of it out without being interrupted or have to combat the issue. Do you really think I would do this without really knowing what I was getting into? C'mon now. So in true Shelley Fashon---if you know me---I can be extremely articulate when I need to be and I can be straight out from the streets to defend what I think is right. If you don't want to support me in this or you don't like it, shut up and keep it to yourself. It's not about you and you aren't raising my children. I'm doing a fine job. Sit your ass down and think about why you are judging other people and their decisions. That wasn't directed at anyone in particular, that is just the stance I have to have on it so that I don't get lost in worrying about what other people think. I just have to be positive and know I am going to give it my all. I??? Am going to be an amazing teacher. Call me Ishmael. "Yet I mean to give the truth of the thing, spite of this." Later.
